The people we call friends

So I guess i havent been on here in a while knowing I started getting used to posting something just about everyday lol but nothing has really happened between my last post about me being a pussy and this one. The only difference is I'm in an extremely good mood today! Last night I had my first night class at MCC which went from 7-10. WTF right? I know. For some reason I agreed on going with Chris on wednesdays even tho I'm not required to take that lol but I loved it! You wanna know why? Cause my teacher is a fricken kickass motherfucker! He's got Fabio hair and a pornstar stash and he made me laugh every 5 minutes for 3 fucking hours. How is that possible for a teacher!?!?! He was so crazy he started walking on people's desks while he was teaching. Keep this in mind, this is a history class. If he can get me interested in history then he's prolly the best teacher on the face of the earth.

Anyways now that I'm done kissing my teachers ass already I'll just talk about my life since my last post (which isnt very interesting lol ). Sooo I fixed my car radio the other day. Dont ask how cause I dont even know lol but after I fixed it I turned it on and only the driver seat set of speaks work, the rest are shot so I went with Chris to Best Buy after work to check some systems out.....all I can say is I'm getting paid today and I'm getting my system this weekend....hahaha ITS SO SICK! but just the speakers alone are gonna cost like $400 so I'm gonna wait a tad and then save up again for an amp and an 8 inch sub. omg its gonna tight as fuck. I just hope my car doesnt fall apart knowing that its a 1994 BMW 325i....its reeele old lol but its fast and I have a bond with it so im gonna treat it to a nice system lol.....ok i wont lie im treating myself to a system haha.

Well I'm just gonna wrap this up with saying I really miss my friends....a lot. I dont think they even know how much they mean to me and I wish I could see them more often but it's close to impossible these days. I just reeeally miss them a lot. Theyre all I think about lately especially Crystal, Alex, Ashley, even Megan who I rarely talk to.I also miss the trio cause I hate the fact Johnny became a douche. The 3 of us were inseperable and then he just kept acting more dick like and getting consumed in his "girlfriend" and college shit that he has no time for me and Chris. We used to be the closest friends anyone could be and then apparently he didnt find that important but its fine. He can do whatever he wants it just sucks that over like 7 or 8 people stopped being friends with me since freshman year. I guess thats true for whoever was in the "fam" freshman year but still. I mean this girl Anna I was best friends with ditched me as a friend cause her boyfriend told her to which makes me reeeeaally mad and reeaaallly sad at the same time cause I was just as close with Ann as I was with any of my other best friends but apparently that doesnt matter to her. I guess in life ur always gonna lose friends wether its for boyfriends or for girlfriends or maybe they just moved across America for a college. You just gonna learn to cope with it because it's a way of life. I mean dont get me wrong cause I know some friends never leave it just is a really sucky thing to lose a friend or friends for sucky reasons. And if Anna ever see's this I just want you to know I'm not gonna forgive you for that.

Peace people,

Ill be back sooooon

pussy

So I'm home right now after a shitty night at work because one of the residents called me a motherfucker and a son of a bitch for his apparently horrible food. It wasnt even my fault and i said that so then he had to talk to our cook and thenhe bitched at the cook! So after that now our cook hates me for getting him. Just a bad night so I thought I'd just talk to blog for a while since I feel no 1 wants to listen. I'm listening to the playlist Alex said she liked from pandora and I must agree. It's sooo soothing after a night like tonight. To to pit all off I ofcourse got into yet another fight with my girlfriend and she aaaaaaaaaaaaaaalwaaaaaaaays has to try and turn it around to make it my fault. Tonight we were supposed to hangout after i got out of work so I called and shes whispering. She was in a movie with her other friends when I said we were doing something tonight. I had my clothes on and i was so ready to get out and see my girlfriend but apparently thats too much to ask for. I dont know why I'm with her sometimes. I love her so much and she loves me 2 but she takes so much advantage of my kindness and patience. She loves walking over me but the sad thing is she doesnt even know she does it sometimes! So how do u fix that!?....which brings me to the question, why the fuck cant I leave her??? I got waaaay to attached this time and I'm afraid I won't have the fucking balls to ever end it if it needs to be ended! Why am I such a pussy! I hate it. It's my strength and weakness at the same time. Being nice means all my friends love me for me and I live a happy life while making other people happy on the way but its also my weakness cause I'm too fucking nice to do something mean like dumping a girl. WTF is wrong with me. I love her....maybe I shouldnt. Fuck it all. Maybe I'm supposed to have a girl that treats me like shit sometimes. Maybe thats why I was made like the pussy I am. Whatever. As long as I could remember I was a pussy. Even as me and this girl i was friends with were being sexually harrassed when we were 8 I was too much of a pussy to stand up for myself or her or even call the police or tell my parents. I dont know why I'm typing right now like no 1 will see this but I have to vent somehow and if it's sitting in my mind it'll drive me crazy. I was too much of a pussy when I got spit on in middle school. I was too much of a pussy to stick up for myself when even my friend since 9th grade was spreading rumors that I was gay. I was too much of a pussy to ask the girl out I was crazy about freshman year so instead I dated a bunch of girls I didnt even fucking like. And now I'm dating a girl who doesnt even appreciate anything I do and I'm too much of a pussy to realize that I deserve better. I'm just gonna go to bed and listen to some music. I need to just meditate and breathe for a little bit.
I'll be back later.

Nom Nom Nom

So I'm still sick but I just wanted to type some stuff for fun before I leave for work. I woke up this morning with theeee worst stomach ache ever but I still felt compelled to eat a bowl of cheerios which ofcourse made me want to puke so I went to the bathroom and dry heaved for a little while. (just thought you should know the details) and after that, i felt so weak so I got in the shower and fell asleep. What the fuck. So then after my shower I just wanted to relax on the couch and watch some cartoons. When my parents tell me to stop watching cartoons, I tell them I'm studying for Ringling....hahaha. Anyways, I've been texting non-stop to keep me awake for work and I realized the couple friends I DO have fucking rock so much sox it's not even funny, which today consisted of Nicole Wallace, Alex Garey, and Ashley Oberhofer...you guys are amazing. So after I was done relaxing I made an amazing omelete! It was so good I had to send Alex a pic cause that's what we do when we make amazing breakfasts....it's our never ending competition haha. Which IM winning ofcourse! So after I ate I felt so much better. Food is like my fucking psyciatrist. I swear to God. It made me feel so much better that it compelled me to go on here and post something, anything, just for fun lol. So that's why I'm here!

So I'm kinda pissed at MCC cause they wont fucking process my loan yet! I've been waiting forever for this fuckin thing and it wont come! If you dont already know, Im waiting for my loan cause I'm using some of it to get myself a new computer so I can actually do some real artwork instead of scribbling on paper whenever something inspires me. My resources are very limited at my house so that computer is gonna be amazing. MacBook Pro. Helllllls ya. So this weekend, a shitload of people wanna hangout with me! I'm suprised after just saying that I have like 3 friends! But I dont know what to do cause I'm sick! I hope I get better cause Alex and Ashley wanna have a "girls night out" haha and Marli wants to see me ofcourse (apparently she has a surprise to show me) I dont know what that means exactly but also Kailey Haraburda and Chelsea Wilson wanna take me to a bar to have "fun" but I think it just might be a little akward since Kialey's my ex girlfriend and Chelsea I havent seen in months, plus I dont think the girlfriend would like that very much.......actually she'd hate it. I usually think Marli overreacts about the stuff I do but if she were to freak about that I completely see why so I doubt I'm gonna hangout with them even tho it might actually be nice to catch up. I hate seeing ex's tho. I hate it a lot.....unless it's Ashley ofcourse. Also I think Crystal wants to do something and I'm pretty sure my friend Chris wants to do something as well. I'm booked! I hope theres a way to organize this shit through my entire weekend cause I really dont wanna dissappoint anyone. I cant afford to lose anymore friends. Well like I said in my last post, my fish Sabastian died so I think I'm gonna get a new one this weekend too and maybe Alex or Marli or someone from work will wanna come pick one out with me cause I love doing that haha. Alright, thats enough talking about absolutely nothing. Maybe my next post will actually be interesting. I certainly hope so.

Cough, Sneeze, Cough

I'm sick. That is all. Thanks nyquil for the early bed time.

Yet again, boredom is theme and the water smells like death

So my life is a yawn fest. I woke up this morning with no excitement to do anything! I have been really bored ever since I went to college this year and most of that is due to half my friends leaving but a shitload of it has to do with the fact that im going to MCC.....13th grade. I go to class every other day, walk to class with my friend Chris (the kid i said i was seeing way too much of) and after classes I leave cause i dont talk to anyone else there and nobody is fucking outgoing so what does that mean? It means I have a total of like 3 friends and I resort to talking on a Blog page at 3PM on a monday.

Anyways no that I got the shit out that was on my mind this morning im gonna go back to when I woke up! haha so after I have a bowl of the oh so orgasmic Reese's Puffs, I do even more chores which one of them consisted of cleaning out my fish tank where my amazing Sabastian lives. He's a fish not a crab ok? I named him after the composer, not the fucking crab from the Little Mermaid. lol So as im cleaning this little tank out I'm lookin at him nd he seems all happy and starin at me! So I'm like sweet he's doing well!......Well....I was wrong. I put Sabastian back into his original tank and he immediately starts dieing. No joke, he was burying himself under a mini I put in there and now he's just floating around! =( He's still alive so as im typing this I keep checking to see if he died! AHHH.

Well for tonight my plans are really iffy. I was planning on chillaxin with Alex Geee in the afternoon at zeh mall but I'm home alone with no effing car to drive there and I feel really bad cause I'm just about positive I cant go. I wont be able to leave my house till about 5:30 and thats gonna be fucking late. Also Marli (my girlfriend) wants me to go to her soccer game in B-town and it starts at 4 so I'm gonna try to go late and see what happens. I just wish it didnt look like I was ditching Alex to see Marli. After the game I might be able to see her and maybe crystal or something but I gotta see the GF cause were the kind of couple that when we see each other a lot were fucking amazing and flawless and we become something most couples would be jealous of, but when we dont see each other everything blows up somehow and i dont know why. If we dont see each other for a while we get into a fued almost every single day we go without seeing each other. I'm not sure if thats a good thing or a bad thing. I mean I think its adorable that we HAVE to see each other or were not ok but what happens when she leaves the state for college? Does that mean our relationship is gonna spiral into a relationSHIT? If we cant go a week without seeing each other how are we gonna go 6 months or more? To be honest, I dont see it working. Its working now but when she leaves theres not gonna be a chance in the world that were gonna stay together which makes me sad and it also scares me cause i have a phobia of being alone so who could I possibly find after thatll make me as happy or happier? I love her with my whole heart and I wanna be with this girl either for the rest of my life or as long as possible so it hurts to think about finding other girls but I dont wanna just pick some random girl after she leaves. I mean i got standards and likes too! Which girl is gonna fall into place?? I mean I had some flings in the past but I doubt I could try those again and I doubt they'd want me to. I think it'd be a good idea to find someone i havent met yet and try to get to know cause that way theres no weird past that I have to remember or work through. The only problem with that is how am I gonna meet a new girl if MCC is fucking ghetto and annoying. When and if I go to Ringling how would I find a girl there when everyone either lives out of state or out of country!? I dont know. I guess the best thing to do right now is go with the flow and just let the wind take me where it pleases. Thats what Ive been doing for my entire life and for the most part it gave me a great life. It introduced me to a great group of people I knew in freshman year. It brought me to experiences that I either loved or learned from and it made my life more interesting. I think thats all for today but I'm sure there will be stuff to talk about tomorrow. Till then, bye blog.

Hello Blog

Soooo today im just starting to get used to how all this works. Kinda pathetic but I'm startin to see how cool this is! I really wanna start kepin almost like a diary in here like my bestie Alex does. Knowing how pretty much everyone stopped talking to me after highschool (besides a couple of awesome people) I really have nobody to vent to these days about anything which, therefor, and hense became my title for this shit. "Vent". This is my venting spot so that means all the stuff im gonna be posting is mainly just for my release at the end of the day, not like some myspace shit. So let me do my thing lol.

Now that I got THAT out of the way im gonna start writing about my day! haha Despite how boring it was I have a need to soooo I WILL. Sooooo I woke up with a man in my bed.........good start huh. haha It was my other best friend Chris who spent the night last night and is fucking horrible at sleeping in one spot. I woke up to his gay ass alarm at 10 cause he had to go to his family brunch....actually come to think of it, the alarm wasnt too bad cause it was from Rob and Big!

bahaha n e ways! He left and I immediately stuffed 3 GIGANTIC donuts....(i dont think i even spelt donuts right...wtf) in my mouth and made myself a TUB of coffee. Twas delish. After my parents saw I had my last sip of coffee they immediately pounced on me about chores, which by the way, I did a million of and my sister did like.....1....hurray for family justice. So I'm not gonna go into detail about every single chore I happened to do within a 3 hour time spand but it was a fuckin shit load. Afterrrr that I finally had a little tiny freetime to write this before I take a shower and go to work till 8.....with Chris again. (but between me and this blog, he's been really reeeeeeeeeeeeeaaallyyyyy annoying me lately, i dont know why and I kinda feel bad about it but i think everyone feels like that at least once with their friends. I just need a break I guess since I see him every single day at school and now he works with me and not only does he work with me now, because he lives so far away from our job I have to drive him there which just means mooooore time with good ol' Chris lol just let me breathe kid!)

Well im gonna get in the shower but I might come back later tonight to post something else.

One quick thanks to Alex, I love you for showing me this cause barely anything happened to me today but it still felt sooooo fucking good to just vent! Thanks bfff